I have a bit of a reputation for reviewing some of the most interesting non-motorized electric vehicles on the internet. To find more of these remotely downloaded electric vehicles, all I have to do is open a few (a dozen) Alibaba tabs in my browser and start window shopping in the world's largest repository of EV engineering. That's how I found this week's focus: a surprisingly fast and fun-looking suitcase that you can assemble and ride until the wheels fall off, which they can handle.
Now let me tell you right now: I did not buy this cool looking scooter suitcase (scootcase?). This is part of a long series of posts where we enjoy the beauty (or horror) of some of Alibaba's wildest EVs from the safe distance of our computer screens.
But this one really tempts me. And that's because for just $733, this electric suitcase that no one asked for can be yours!
It's powered by a 400W motor – or maybe two 400W motors, as the ad copy isn't quite clear. But either way, that single or double engine is apparently enough to send this suitcase careening through the airport at a carefree 30 km/h (18 mph).
If this seems like a half-baked idea, then you're probably being generous. The last thing I want when I'm rushing to catch a flight is to be knocked off my knees by someone carrying a suitcase at 18 mph. But then again, the easy solution to that problem is that I'm already on top of my electric suitcase! Problem solved – and the race began!
The concept sounds simple, but the execution looks decent, especially when shown by the leggy model that gives us the image of the money, above.
Design is kind of fascinating, even if I'm not 100% sure I understand the engineering. Apparently it starts life as a normal carry-on suitcase. You know, the boring old kind you can drift around Cinnabon on your way to Gate 16A.
But then it transforms like Optimus Prime into a scooter, folding the suitcase part back into itself and pulling the handle of its trolley 90 degrees into a set of handles. That's when you bust out a fat squat right on Scootimus Prime and you're ready to fly around the airport at high speed. Based on the image below, I'm led to believe that this change takes just five seconds.
I don't think this does any mercy on the storage space available inside the suitcase. But hey, did you buy your suitcase to carry stuff, or did you buy it to run adults around on those Terminal 3 golf carts? Yes, that's what I thought. So stop complaining, go throw your laundry and neck pillow in a plastic shopping bag, and strap on your goggles because we've got the tiniest tire marks to put on squeaky airport linoleum.
The on-board battery is said to be good for a range of 13 km (8 miles), which seems more than enough for any airport situation. It also powers some USB outlets in the suitcase, meaning you can recharge your phone in a pinch.
The 75Wh battery is pretty much in line with any airline, falling below the 100Wh limit. So if you get in trouble at the airport about your new tires, it won't be the TSA, but rather all the teenagers laughing at you while posting on TikTok.
But let them laugh, because they're just haters in your non-existent rearview mirror. If they knew what this scootcase sounds like, they would sing a different song.
There are surprisingly good features such as four speed settings, electronic braking, cruise control, and a reverse feature. You may scoff, but my LiveWire electric scooter doesn't even have a recoil. Harley engineers could learn a thing or two from this silly little thing!
Some final thoughts
As interesting as this thing looks, I don't think I'll be dropping $733 on it anytime soon. I'll have to stick with my trusty Cotopaxi travel backpack, which can't carry me around the airport or charge my devices, but has served me well for boring old tasks like carrying my stuff.
And as most of my long-time readers will already know, this is written tongue-in-cheek as part of a long series of other tongue-in-cheek Alibaba posts (which I hope to revive on a near-regular schedule again. ). Therefore, nothing in this post should be taken as an endorsement of this product. In fact, please do not buy this item. You have been warned. If you're shopping, don't cry to me if you get a speeding ticket from a mall cop or get banned from LaGuardia for creating a pile outside of Sbarro.
Let's let this thing exist in its weird little corner of the internet with some of the best electric cars Alibaba has to offer.
And that, my friends, is a wrap. It's good to be back.
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